Friday, November 17, 2006

The Vasty Deep Version 1.1

Wicked Witch: I can call spirits from the vasty deep.
Codger: Why, so can I, or so can any man;
But will they come back when you do call for them?
Wicked Witch: Why I can teach you, cousin, to command the Devil.
Codger: And I can teach thee, coz, to shame the devil---
By telling the truth. Tell the truth and shame the devil.

Shakespeare - Henry the Fourth, Part 1 - Act 3, scene 1, 52-58 with names changed to illuminate the innocent.
Google is a Democratic Party Front which is in constant violation of Federal Election Laws which will allow a prosecution by Patrick Fitzgerald to put all those punkass Zillionaires in jail and transfer their former wealth to the taxpayers!

Friday, November 10, 2006

America's Parting Gift to Iraq

Now that Saddam has been legally convicted, the United States should do the Iraqis a huge favor and reassume custody of him. Then, in a proper public ceremony (where his statue once stood?), he should be executed by the Americans. This would relieve the Iraqis of any blood on their hands and allow the beginning of a reconciliation. The ceremony should be done with style. Perhaps Condoleezza Rice could read the indictment and sentence while dressed in her Dominatrix outfit (you know the one she wore when she first went to Europe - the long black skirt and stilletto heels). And Donald Rumsfeld should give the order to his men! Let Al-Jazeera broadcast that to the Arab world. A single, black woman, sans chador, sending the baddest Arab dictator to his eternal reward of 72 virgins!

P.S. Today is the birthday of the United States Marine Corps


PHASE 2 (ADDED 11/17/06) - Now for Iran! They say that every woman is an actress. So she now delivers the word of the Prophet! There is good news and bad. First the good. The prophecy that every jihadi will have 72 virgins for eternity is true. Now comes a bonus! The size of every jihadi's penis will grow to that which he imagines it should be! Now comes the bad news. With a penis that size, no slender virgin can accept it, it is too big. So a bigger virgin must take her place. You know the kind, a Crusader Virgin, Sister Mary Pat!