Surrender or Die!

Found an interesting letter by Chris Buckley in the American Spectator (click above). Here is my letter in response...

"We should make the grunts of the North Korean Army an offer.

SURRENDER OR DIE (of starvation)!

Tell them they can choose one of the following options

1) Walk home, leaving their posts deserted.
2) Remove their uniform shirt exposing a white t-shirt, walk slowly toward the nearest U.S. or South Korean soldier, and when challenged shout "U-S-A".
3) If they cannot do either of the above, they should find a piece of open ground and arrange some rocks in the form of a "Peace Sign", it sort of looks like a Mercedes hood ornament. We can detect the surrender by satellite.

Once they have all surrendered, we will send in the South Korean troops to take possession and re-unify the country under ROK leadership. Then it is "Miller Time" for U.S. troops, who will be re-stationed in the Good Ole USA! The Korean War will be over. Finally!"

Update 3/4/05 9:35 AM - Added clarifying phrase "(of starvation)" above. The key point here is that we aren't doing anything to the North Korean people that they couldn't resolve by throwing out their dysfunctional government. And they can throw out that government by using their power to refuse to cooperate (think Ghandi, all you pacifists). A small cadre of fanatics cannot control the whole population of the country. So if they hate starving to death, they should turn their hate on the cause of their starvation, their leader!